


the best friend

by MayWilder



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Fat Shaming, Friends to Lovers, Gay Ned Leeds, Homecoming rewrite, M/M, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Misunderstandings, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Open Ending, Spider-Man: Homecoming Spoilers, internalized struggles with being fat, light bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-20 21:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21063695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayWilder/pseuds/MayWilder
Summary: Ned sees. Ned knows.Even in New York, where diversity and difference are supposed to be celebrated, there’s still not really room for fat people. Even in an academic program that promotes intelligence and eagerness for knowledge above all else, his appearance matters, and he gets pushed to the side. It’s not terribly unexpected, even though he can’t really understand why it matters that he’s fat. He’s smart. Like… really smart , and he works really hard to keep up with the people around (and in front) of him. He generally succeeds in that.But, he’s fat.He has Peter, though, and he kind of learns that Peter’s opinion is more important to him. Peter, who thinks Ned is brilliant and likes that their talents veer differently because “the best superhero teams are like that.” Peter, who laughs at his jokes and showers him in physical affection. Peter, with his beautiful smile and sparkling eyes and heart that lives to take care of others. Peter, who loves him better than anyone else in the world, even his mother—and she loves him a lot.(The truth is, he might be a little in love with his best friend. But the world already dislikes fat people. What are they going to do with a fat gay person?)





	the best friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Superstitious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superstitious/gifts).

> shoutout to Alex for working through this with me. couldn't have done it without your constant encouragement and screaming about how great Ned Leeds is.  
honestly, i just. love him.  
as always, please read tags.

For as long as he can remember, Ned’s been…big. 

He’s never really known why. He’s just always been bigger than everyone around him. It’s not like he felt as if he was consciously eating more food, or worse food. He ate what was given. He snacked until he wasn’t hungry. His favorite memories are of him and Peter bingeing movies, eating candy and popcorn. He loves food. He doesn’t care what he looks like. 

Until other people start caring. 

He’s in middle school the first time it happens. Flash has stopped hanging around him and Peter, and instead talks to people like _ Ben and Sandy _and laughs at all their jokes. They’re thirteen, excited for summer, and in line to wait for pick up. Peter and Ned are talking about getting Ben and May to take them to the beach when Sandy lets out a stream of giggles. 

“As long as you keep your shirt on,” Sandy says, eyes drifting up and down Ned’s body. “Nobody needs to see that.”

Ned feels something ugly twist in his stomach, frowning. “N-Nobody needs to look.”

“And how is everyone supposed to ignore a beached whale?” Ben jeers. He earns a loud bout of laughter, even as the color drains from Ned’s face and Peter’s hands shake. “You know, you and Parker should join up with the circus. You’d make a nice little tag team, Fatso and Skeletal.”

It’s not clever. It’s not funny. It’s obvious he put very little effort in. 

And yet everyone roars with laughter. 

After that, Ned sees. Ned knows. 

Even in New York, where diversity and difference are supposed to be celebrated, there’s still not really room for fat people. Even in an academic program that promotes intelligence and eagerness for knowledge above all else, his appearance matters, and he gets pushed to the side. It’s not terribly unexpected, even though he can’t really understand why it matters that he’s fat. He’s smart. Like…_ really smart _, and he works really hard to keep up with the people around (and in front) of him. He generally succeeds in that. 

But, he’s fat. 

He has Peter, though, and he kind of learns that Peter’s opinion is more important to him. Peter, who thinks Ned is brilliant and likes that their talents veer differently because “the best superhero teams are like that.” Peter, who laughs at his jokes and showers him in physical affection. Peter, with his beautiful smile and sparkling eyes and heart that lives to take care of others. Peter, who loves him better than anyone else in the world, even his mother—and she loves him a lot. 

(The truth is, he might be a little in love with his best friend. But the world already dislikes fat people. What are they going to do with a fat _ gay _person?)

“Peter,” he asks the summer before they start high school. “Do you not like that I’m fat?”

Peter’s face screws up in his genuinely confused way. “Why would that matter?”

And Ned’s heart cries with relief because Peter, his Peter, still loves him. 

“Would you…not like that I think I’m gay?”

_ And in love with you. _

“Ned,” Peter’s gaze softens. “Whatever makes you…_Ned_…that’s great to me. Anyone who doesn’t like all that you entail is insane, because you’re-you’re the best. To me, at least, for whatever that’s worth.”

_ It’s worth everything. _

“Cool,” Ned nods. “Wanna build the titanic?”

“Obviously.”

And so, Ned learns to accept himself in a way. The people he loves most love him how he is, so why does it matter what people like_ Flash _ and _ Ben _ and _ Sandy _ think?

It doesn’t. 

And that’s pretty cool. 

* * *

Peter gets sick.

He’s out of school for two weeks. Ned goes to school, drops off homework for his friend, gets sad looks from Ben and May, and then goes home. 

A half-finished Lego Titanic mocks him. 

* * *

Peter starts to get better, but he isn’t around as often. In school, there isn’t much talking. 

They don’t see each other outside of school. 

* * *

Summer comes. The first year of high school ends, and Ned walks home alone.

* * *

The first month of summer passes. 

Ned is still alone.

* * *

“N-Ned…"

Ned mumbles in his sleep, rolling towards the sound. 

“Ned, please, I can’t…I can’t…”

Peter. 

He sits up and reaches for the light, but Peter’s hand stops his from getting there. He doesn’t have time to contemplate the weird substance that’s dried on his best friend’s hand because something strangled finds it way out of Peter. Sobs wrack his body and he pitches forward into Ned, sobbing into his neck so profusely that Ned can feel the rate of his tears falling. He doesn’t question whatever’s happening, just wraps his arms around his friend and pulls him into the bed with him. 

A million things race through his mind. 

_ Why is Peter crying? Why is here? Aren’t I mad at him? Wait, he feels different. This isn’t Peter. But it smells like Peter. But he’s so muscular. Oh god, he’s really hurting. Where are Ben and May? Am I helping him? God, I hope I’m helping— _

“Hey,” Ned soothes, running his hand up and down Peter’s spine like he’s always liked. “I’ve got you, Pete, I’m here. It’s okay, I’m here.”

Peter’s sobs increase, but almost in a way that sounds like he’s been holding it in, and now he’s falling into a million pieces in Ned’s arms and that doesn’t make sense because Peter is_ Peter, _ he’s soft and strong at the same time, warm and comfortable, not…not cold and shattered. Ned has no idea how to fix this. 

He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to be fixing. 

“Ben,” Peter eventually chokes out. “Ben is gone. There was a robber, and I couldn’t stop him, and I-I-I—

“Okay,” Ned says, understanding filling him as quickly as dread does. 

Not Ben. Ben. Warm, solid (like Peter), understanding and supportive. Tells cheesy jokes. Sneaks candy into the theater. Ruffles Ned’s hair the same way he ruffles Peter. Always walks in and says, “What trouble are we getting into tonight, boys?”

Not Ben.

Not another father-figure of Peter’s.

Peter.

Who had to _ watch _. 

Ned turns them so Peter can more easily lay on his side. The smaller boy curls into a fetal position, still tucked as closely as possible to Ned as he can be. Ned continues murmuring soothing words and rubbing his back, sliding his fingers through Peter’s sweat-damped curls and hoping he is as steady as his friend needs him to be. Is there anything, really, to say right now? Any way Ned could possibly make this better?

Peter’s hands twist into his shirt. “Can I stay here, please? May’s with your parents, but I just need—”

“Whatever, Peter, whatever you need. You got it. I’m here."

Ned stops talking, and Peter keeps crying. 

It’s a long night.

* * *

“Hey, Ned?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been a shit friend.”

“Peter, no.”

“I have. Let’s not pretend. I suck. I’ve been a shitty friend, and a shitty nephew, and I-I didn’t get the chance to, you know, apologize to Ben, and—fuck, it just, it-it-it sucks, you know? I never got to apologize. He was gone too quickly.”

“Pete.”

“And you’re my best friend in the entire world. I love you. And if something happens to you, and you don’t know I’m sorry, I’ll…I don’t know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry I fucked up.”

“Forget it.”

“…”

“…”

“Can we snuggle again? I just-I-you know.”

“Rest your weary head on my bosom.”

“Ned—what?!”

* * *

Ned spends just about every night at Peter and May’s. The second week he sleeps over, May washed his clothes and cleared enough space in one of Peter’s drawers for him. By the third week, his preferred breakfast cereal is in the cabinets. He settles in for the rest of the summer, playing games and building legos and making sure Peter never feels alone. 

“When do you want me to go home?” Ned asks one night. 

Peter pauses where he’s about to slide into the bed next to Ned. “Um. Never?”

Ned raises an eyebrow. 

“I mean, when school starts I guess. I just don’t think I want to leave the bubble yet.” 

It’s not healthy, Ned knows that. Peter needs to cope and grow, not distract himself with Ned’s constant presence. And Ned? Ned needs to give him space, alone time with May. 

It’s just that Peter is looking at him with wide eyes and that pouty lip, and Ned is helpless. “When school starts back, I need to go home. But until then I’m yours.”

_ Let’s be honest. I’ll always belong to Peter Parker. _

* * *

Alas. 

If there’s anything Ned learns over the next few months, its that Peter Parker does not belong to Ned Leeds. 

It’s not just the general forgetfulness, focus on the internship, and the late nights with no returned text messages. It’s more that Peter likes Liz. And that’s fine, really, Peter liking someone. Ned doesn’t have a monopoly on his best friend’s time or feelings. Also, Liz is great! She’s intelligent and truly kind, sincere in how she speaks to the people around her and painfully soft. She’s a dream, someone that everyone falls to their feet for, and you can’t really hate her because she deserves it. If there’s anyone in the school who should have any power, its Liz. She’ll wield it responsibly, like a benevolent queen who does what is best for her people and still loves them. 

Does it suck that she’s skinny and classically pretty? Well, obviously, but Ned knows that there is so much more to her than that. Peter likes her for more than that. And even though he kind of wishes Peter would like him for the reasons he likes Liz, he decides that he is going to support Peter in his romantic adventures. 

Well, Peter doesn’t really do romantic adventures. 

He mostly stares with curiosity, like Liz is a mystery he’ll never quite solve. That soothes a lot of the ache--Peter doesn’t wax poetically about how great she is, or how in love he is. He just makes a few comments, seems mildly invested, and doesn’t play it up excessively. Ned appreciates that. It’s easier to step alongside that kind of crush than any other type, so he’s totally there to support Peter (read: _mostly_ there to support Peter.)

Which is why Ned is spending his lunch period on a Tuesday in February _ also _staring at Liz Allen.

“Did Liz get a new top?” Peter asks, chin in his hand and that curious look on his face. 

Ned, who knows just as much about Liz Allen as Peter does at this point, answers boredly. “No. We’ve seen that before, but never with that skirt.”

“We should probably stop staring before it gets creepy though.”

Ned is ready to agree and move on from Liz, but Michelle pipes up from a few seats down. 

“Too late. You guys are losers.”

Ned wants to be offended. 

But, you know. 

“Then why do you sit with us?” he teases instead. 

“Because I don’t have any friends,” she replies. Ned has to smile at her, even as she ducks her face back into her book. Michelle has always kind of been around them. She doesn’t seem too fond of interacting with them, but Ned knows that she’s just as secretly fond of them as he is openly fond of her. 

“You like us,” Peter counters. 

“Eh.”

Ned shakes his head and goes back to his lunch. “Hey, do you wanna just start building the Death Star at your place? I’ve thought about what it’s going to be like to carry it from my house and that, like, might not work.”

“Scared you’re gonna drop it on the subway?” Peter asks, turning that dazed glance on Ned. It’s not for him, but it still makes his breath wash out of his lungs for a second. 

“Well, obviously,” Ned feigns annoyance. “What do you say?”

“Sounds like a plan. Shoot me a text when you’re coming over?”

And suddenly, Ned forgets all about Liz Allen because he gets to spend the evening having quality time with Peter, and that prospect is just too exciting. The rest of the day doesn’t even seem like a hassle to get through. Ned usually likes his classes, but his mind keeps drifting so much that the time flies. Before he knows it, he’s sitting on the subway with his unboxed Lego Death Star in his lap. 

“Damn kid,” the guy across from him says. “You look pretty excited. Got a hot date or something?”

Ned indulges himself. “Yes I do!”

“Very nice,” the guy dips his head as the subway moves to a stop. “Have a great time, my dude.”

“Thanks!” 

When he gets to the Parker residence, May lets him know that Peter isn’t back, but he can head on into his room. Ned walks happily to the familiar bedroom. Deciding to go ahead and get set up, Ned plops onto the ground and begins to open all the smaller boxes. He hums to himself as he goes, cheerful at his current situation. 

Well, for the first hour. 

Peter’s normally late; it’s totally fine. 

It’s totally fine for the next hour. Ned starts building the Death Star on his own, shooting for simply getting the structural basis done. Peter can help add the finer details. 

The second hour is turning into the third hour when Ned thinks it might be time to just leave. Right as he starts picking up the Death Star, sour that his best friend has blown him off yet again, he hears the window creak and slide open. 

_ Oh my god _ , Ned thinks, not breathing. _ Someone is sneaking into Peter’s room and I am going to die. I can’t die yet! I haven’t even kissed anyone. How can I be turning sixteen and not kissed anyone? I’m gonna die a virgin. A gay virgin. This can’t be… _

His train of thought disappears as he sees what cannot be anything except Spider-Man sneaking across the ceiling. Spider-Man. The actual dude in the actual suit. Spider-Man. He’s sneaking across the roof of Peter Parker’s room. Crawling carefully, he reaches up and throws his mask to the side. Ned would know the hair that floofs out as a result anywhere. He’s seen Peter with enough hats. 

Which means...

Ned honestly doesn’t know how to handle this. Peter is Spider-Man. Peter. His best friend who once happened to fall face first into his own birthday cake because a surprise party scared him now spends his evenings swinging through Queens and fighting crime. It’s something he isn’t sure he knows how to wrap his head around. 

It’s impossible. 

_ Except. _

Except Peter is using some type of webbing to shut his door quietly. Ned watches, lips parted and still unable to really process anything, while Peter eases to the ground with no sound, one arm holding him to the ceiling until he carefully drops all the way down. The door gets fully shut, Peter sighs in relief, and he turns to move towards his bed. 

They make eye contact, and the Death Star falls from Ned’s hands. 

Ned thinks he hears May calling, and maybe Peter yelling back an assurance, but he isn’t sure. 

_ You’re the Spider-Man, You’re the Spider-Man, You’re the Spider-Man, _ “You’re the Spider-Man. From YouTube.”

Peter smacks his chest and the suit wrinkles down, sliding off his shoulders. “I’m not, Ned, no I’m not.”

“You were on the ceiling!” Ned points up, near hysterics. 

“No I wasn’t--Ned, what are you doing in my room?”

“May let me in, you said we were gonna build the Death Star!”

“You can’t just bust into my room!”

“I lived here for the summer, _what are you talking about_?!”

Peter opens his mouth to respond, but May’s shoes pad against the floor. Both boys look at each other in panic when they realize she’s coming. Aunt May is about to walk into the bedroom with a crashed Death Star and the Spider-Man suit around Peter’s ankles. 

“Quick!” Ned hisses, moving forward to try to find something to do with the suit. In the process, Peter also tries to move forward but trips over the suit and flies against Ned until they both hit the ground. Ned lands on his back with Peter splayed out on top of him, gripping his shoulders for support. They stare at each other, wide eyed, while Peter tries to kick the suit away and then suddenly the door opens to a laughing May.

“That turkey meatloaf recipe is a disaster!” May waves a towel around the diffuse the smoke coming through the door. Her laugh fades a little as she takes in the half-naked Peter laying across a flustered Ned on a floor of legos. “Um, let’s go to dinner. Thai? Ned, you want Thai?”

“No!” the boys exclaim at the same time. They verbally trip over each other in an attempt to come up with a reason Ned would suddenly say no, but May just nods. 

“Alright,” she reaches for the door, motioning to Peter with her free hand. “Maybe put on some clothes.”

When the door is shut, Peter doesn’t bother moving. He just looks down at Ned with wide eyes. “Ned--”

“She doesn’t know?”

“Nobody knows! I mean Mr. Stark knows because he made my suit, but that's it!”

Ned’s mind has so much running through it right now. 

“Ned, you can’t tell anybody about this,” Peter pleads, hands squeezing tighter to Ned’s shoulders. “Please, you have to keep it a secret.”

“Peter!”

“After everything that’s happened with Ben,” Peter pleads. “You think May’s going to let me do this anymore? She can’t know, not that I go out and people try to kill me every night. I can’t do that to her.”

“Then why are you Spider-Man?”

“Because I couldn’t save Ben, but I use my powers to save other people!”

Ned falls silent. His head drops back on the carpet while Peter adjusts and kind of...snuggles into Ned’s chest. “Look, I know it’s exciting and fun and a lot to process, but please. You can’t say anything to anybody. May most of all.”

“Okay,” Ned whispers. He remembers May those first few months, and how she could barely stand to be away from Peter--because no, not him too--and he knows this would terrify her. So he rubs a hand up Peter’s back and nods. “Yeah, okay. I won’t say anything. But tomorrow, you better be ready to answer so many questions, I'm going to make a _ ginormous _ list--”

“You’re the best,” Peter breathes. If possible, his arms squeeze tighter around Ned and he burrows closer. “I’m actually really glad you know now.”

He has to know what he’s doing, snuggling up to Ned like this, right? He has to.

“Me too, dude,” Ned swallows. 

After a minute or so of Peter just relaxing on Ned, breath evening out and not taking care that he was smooth and perfect and nestled along his best friend’s body, they hear May call for Peter. He sighs dramatically before them both into a standing position. Peter reaches for the nearest object (which just happens to be Ned’s sweater) and slides it over his smaller frame. Ned swallows the swell of affection rising in his throat at the fact that Peter is wearing his clothes, especially because it’s not a completely rare occurrence. 

“We’ll walk to school together?” Peter asks, searching around for pants. “And about the Death Star, I swear--

“Peter, don’t even worry about it,” Ned rushes to stop him. “You’re, like, saving the world every night. The Death Star can _ so _wait.”

Peter offers him a thankful smile, and Ned is able to remember exactly how far gone he is for Peter Parker. 

That night, as Ned sits on the ride home and later attempts to prepare for bed, his mind reels. Some things are making more sense, are falling clearly into place. For example, Peter coming back from Germany with a bruised eye can now be explained. The sickness that took him over for weeks on end. How he insisted he should have been able to stop Ben’s attacker the night he died. How he showed up at Ned’s house (two months after being a scrawny kid with glasses) made of solid muscle and perfect vision. 

Speaking of muscles. 

Ned has to allow himself a moment to lay back and remember the sight of Peter. He doesn’t like to feel creepy so he generally tries to refrain from fantasizing or staring too much, but tonight he doesn’t have the mental capacity to not think about it. Peter’s body is literal perfection. Every line of corded muscle looks hand-crafted by God. He’s somehow slim while also clearly being strong, and he moves like his body is made of water. Scientifically, he’s got to be the most perfect specimen that’s existed since Captain America. 

_ If I didn’t have a chance before, I definitely don’t have a chance now _. All of Ned’s comics make one thing clear: people who look like Peter do not end up with people like Ned. And if Peter’s origin story and life is starting to fall out of the storybooks, then it's obvious that Liz will be just as enamored with Peter as he is with her. Instead of being a love interest, Ned is meant to be the chubby best friend with a few one-liners that everyone thinks is endearing, but isn’t necessary for the plot. 

The thought doesn’t cut into Ned’s heart and leave an open wound.

It just. 

It _ doesn’t. _

_ Oh well. _ Ned pulls out his phone and opens the notes app. He’s not going to sleep at all tonight, so he might as well get all of his questions ready. Peter has no idea what Ned’s go in store for him. 

* * *

Ned loves Peter. 

He wants Peter to get what he wants. 

Peter wants Liz. 

So Ned wants to help Peter and Liz get together. 

So when, the day after he finds out Peter is Spider-Man, Liz just happens to be talking about how much she likes Spider-Man, Ned blurts out that Peter knows Spider-Man (it’s not a lie, okay?) and somehow they get invited to Liz’s party. This should be good! They’re going to a party and Ned is gonna wear his Confidence Hat, and they’re going to have a nice time, despite Peter obsessing over how pretty Liz is. It’s a solid plan. 

Except it’s not, and now Ned is alone at a party where nobody likes him and Peter is nowhere to be found. 

He sneaks off to the back porch at some point, wondering how he’s going to get home when Michelle wonders onto the patio. She’s carrying a jug of milk and some snickerdoodles (Ned’s favorite). “‘Sup, loser?”

“You’re so kind and yet so cruel,” Ned sighs dramatically. “I don’t know how I survive you.”

“Because we get each other.” Michelle plops onto the lounge chair next to Ned, somehow fitting in so easily despite his large frame. She is always able to mold herself around him in the quiet moments. “Let’s eat our feelings, kid.”

“I’m older than you.”

“Do you want the cookies or not?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Nah ah. None of that. We like cookies, we’re going to eat cookies.”

Ned smiles at her, filled such genuine affection he can’t help but snuggle closer. Her legs find their way over his lap and she hands him a snickerdoodle. “Thanks, MJ.”

“Anytime, my dude,” she shrugs. “Wanna talk about it or just sit in silence?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I just. I wanted us to come because I thought Peter and I could hang out, and he could maybe get to talk to Liz, and it would make him happy. But he’s disappeared again. And I know why he’s always disappearing, but it doesn’t make me feel better. Like, I know he and I will never be what I want, but we can be _ something _, can’t we? I support his pursuit of Liz! I am content with being friends. Why can’t that even happen, you know?

“And, like, I know it’s selfish, I am completely aware. I just want to be selfish for a little bit. I’ll stop complaining soon, it’s just--it sucks sometimes, MJ. It really sucks.”

“You’re not selfish, Nedward,” Michelle argues around a cookie. “You love him, in a lot of different ways, and you want to spend time with him. That’s the basis of relationships.”

“But I know he’s busy.”

“If he can go to school and be Spider-Man, he can carve out a couple hours to hang out with the best human on the planet.”

“He’s not--_I’m not--how did--MJ!_”

She grins, somehow sarcastic and still positively delighted. “Ned, I’m not stupid. Of course Peter is Spider-Man. The timeline can’t explain anything else.”

_ The timeline…? _

“Don’t tell him I know, though, I like watching him squirm. And you are the best human on the planet, but if you tell anyone I told you that, I will legitimately kill you in your sleep.”

Ned tries to process and shoves another cookie in his mouth. 

Michelle’s expression softens and she lays a hand on Ned’s cheek. “I’m serious, Ned. Even if you don’t want to tell him how you really feel, as his best friend, there’s a certain level of interaction that its perfectly okay to want. And you’re a fantastic friend. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you. Peter’s a little caught up in things, but it doesn’t mean you can’t let him know it upsets you a little.”

“I don’t want to be a hassle on him, MJ.”

“Why do you act like it’s a privilege just to be near him? He’s a person, Ned, and you’re worth more than you give yourself credit for.”

How does Ned explain that it is? That Peter wants him and loves him when the rest of the world doesn’t, even if its not really to the level that Ned would have him? That he does feel lucky to bask in even a small amount of Peter’s light and is worried about losing it?

“Can I ask something intrusive?” Michelle whispers. Ned nods. “Where did this come from? Your parents love you. May loves you. Peter and I love you. What happened that made you think you need to make sure you never do anything to upset anyone?”

Ned looks down at Michelle’s legs in his lap and plays with a loose string on her jeans. He _could_ talk about Flash, and how their friendship changed because he was fat and Flash was popular, or how the time without Peter was one of the worst summers of his life. He doesn't, though. Instead, he gives her a little shrug. “I don’t know. It might just be how I see him. Peter’s incredible. And him being Spider-Man doesn’t change that. He’s good, and kind, and just wants to make sure nobody else ever feels the pain that he’s felt. And he’s...MJ, he’s beautiful.”

Michelle looks at him sadly. “Oh, Ned. So are you.”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard it.”

“Well, then Peter and I have fucked up. Just because Peter is conventionally attractive, does not mean that you aren’t beautiful and wonderful. And you know what? You’re fat, Ned. Everyone uses that word like its dirty, but its not. It doesn’t even matter. You’re fat the same way you have black hair and warm eyes or a smile that makes me want to kill myself less. You have a home where people feel safe and where I can escape when my parents are transphobic dickheads. You are incredible, Ned Leeds, and I hate that you don’t think so because it’s true.”

Ned doesn’t respond. Instead, he just lets Michelle hold him while tears leak from his eyes. 

* * *

“Hey, thanks for bailing on me.”

Peter looks up, slightly scandalized at the tone and Ned feels guilty. His plan was to walk up to Peter and gently explain that he was hurt. Instead, seeing him had brought a rush of emotion and he’d verbally pouted. 

“Yeah, well, something came up,” Peter says, motioning to whatever he’s working on. Ned looks down as sees a purple glowing rock, his--irritation? guilt? irriguilt?--fading into awe.

“Whoa, what is that?”

“I don’t know,” Peter says. “Some guy tried to vaporize me with it.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“_Awesome_.”

Peter’s head pops up, both amused and hurt. Ned colors. “I mean, not awesome. Totally uncool of that guy.”

“Right,” Peter chuckles. “Anyways, I think it’s some kind of power source.”

Ned looks closer. “Yeah, but it’s connected to all these microprocessors. That’s an inductive charging plate. It’s what I use to charge my toothbrush.”

“Well whoever’s making these is obviously combining alien tech with ours.”

Something like a chill runs down Ned’s spine and he over to his best friend. “That is literally the coolest sentence anyone has ever said. I just wanna thank you, for letting me a part of your journey, into this amazing--”

Peter smacks down on it with a hammer, obviously not paying attention to Ned. Despite that, his curiosity is peaked at the alien tech is freed from it and he leans over it with Peter again. His best friend huffs. “I gotta figure out what this is and who makes it.”

Now that is something Ned can get behind. “We’ll go to the lab after class and run some tests.”

“Let’s do it.”

They do their handshake, and Ned relishes in the comfort of it. “You know, Peter, I was serious when I was saying thank you for letting be part of this. It means a lot. I know it was an accident that I found out, but--”

“Hey, man,” Peter nudges their shoulders together. “I meant it the other night when I said that I’m glad you know. I don’t like having something between us, and this in the open is good. And working with my best friend on this kind of stuff? Dream come true.”

Ned’s heart thumps. “Agreed.”

* * *

Thankfully, the wait for the end of class isn’t long. They’re dismissed early, so Peter slides the glowy-thingy into his pocket and they file into the hallway. Ned is hopeful that the rest of the day will go easily, that he and Peter are going to casually research their alien tech together and it’ll be a fun time. 

Naturally, that doesn’t happen. Peter obviously sees one of the guys who tried to kill him in the hallway and promptly takes Ned’s hand, pulling them into the nearest closet and locking the door. Ned doesn’t even have time to protest, because Peter has a hand on his mouth and an ear tilted towards the door as if he can hear the criminals. (Which, okay, Ned realizes that he probably can because of his superpowers, but still! Wait, if he has super-hearing, does that mean he can hear Ned’s heartbeat?? Does he know how he responds to Peter’s general presence, or--shit--the smell of his shampoo in such close proximity? God, help me, help me, help me--)

Peter drops his hand. “Shit, they’re about to leave.”

“That’s good!”

“No, I need to follow them! Maybe they can lead me to the guy that dropped me in the lake.”

“Some guy dropped you in a lake?!” 

“Yeah, it was not good.”

Ned doesn’t know if he wants to strangle Peter for leaving out this information or kiss him out of relief. He is so woefully behind.

“Oh!” Peter giggles. “Duh!”

Ned is honestly feeling too many emotions in response to Peter right now. He needs to lie down and process. 

“What?” he asks instead. 

Peter lifts up his sleeve to reveal his webshooters (_Does he really just wear them everywhere?_) and clicks a button. Ned watches a miniature spider shoot towards the door and crawl under the base. He can admit that it’s pretty amazing, especially when Peter grins triumphantly. “Cool. Now we track it when we get home.”

Right as Ned is reaching for the door, Peter’s hand whips out and he grabs it. “Wait, they’re coming back this way.”

Ned obeys, retreating his hand. Fortunately-but-unfortunately, Peter keeps his fingers wrapped around Ned’s wrist. Their proximity is suddenly painfully obvious, and Ned’s mind goes right back to spinning with the Peter Effect™. He swallows down the nervousness, even as his heart rate spikes and his palms sweat. 

“Hey,” Peter whispers, as if Ned is focused on anything but him. “I can feel your panic, man. It’s okay, even if they found us in here, I can protect you.”

“Yeah,” Ned says weakly, because this is making it a thousand times worse. Peter steps forward in his usual attempt to comfort Ned, rubbing his thumb along the inside of Ned’s wrist and making his eyes shut at the gentle, tender action. Ned takes a breath, let’s himself take the comfort--even if it's not from what Peter thinks it is--and calms himself down. _ It’s fine. Everything is fine. The proximity is not bad, it’s good. Good, so it’s better than fine. Good. Okay. You got this, Ned. _

“Better?” Peter murmurs, giving Ned a small smile. “You okay?”

Damn it, Ned loves him so much. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

* * *

To recap:

Ned has caught his best friend crawling across the ceiling and realized he’s Spider-Man. 

Ned has played with alien technology. 

Ned has spent his Thursday night tracking the bad guys with Spider-Man’s GPS thingy. 

Ned has traveled to Washington, D.C. for the Decathlon with Peter, simultaneously tracking the bad guys to Maryland. 

Ned has plopped himself on one of the beds in his and Peter’s shared hotel room to look at the coding for a superhero suit, designed by Tony Stark himself.

And now? Now, Ned is listening as Peter is, of course, begging for him to turn off something called “Training Wheels Protocol.” As usual, Ned is completely incapable of saying no to Peter’s doe eyes and pleading voice. 

Unfair.

So he does.

So, to wrap it all up, Ned has officially hacked Tony Stark’s super suit and and turned off the (probably very important!) protocol for Peter. 

“You’re the literal best, Ned,” Peter beams. “Where would I be without you?”

“Oh, whatever,” Ned scoffs, despite the pleasant thrill it sends through him. “When are you gonna go follow them?”

“Um, now,” Peter answers like it’s obvious. “Gotta be back tomorrow morning, right?”

“Fair enough.”

Peter slides off his hoodie, and doesn’t bother going into another room. Why would he, when they’ve shared spaces most of their lives and never once worried about undressing in front of each other? Ned decides to get lost in the code in front of him and is very diligent about Not Being Creepy. Because that’s not okay. And rude. And breaching of trust. And--

“Okay,” Peter chirps when he’s got his jeans on. “I’m gonna head out. Can you watch the glowy-thingy? Make sure nothing happens to it?”

“Okay, okay, yeah,” Ned agrees. 

Peter wrist makes a noise, and he pulls up the map. “They’re moving.”

“Be careful,” Ned says, worried and excited and terribly confused at the mix of emotions. 

Peter, for his part, only nods with a small smile and shuts the door. Ned, as usual, is left behind. He flops back onto the bed with a huff, staring at the beige ceiling. He isn't sure if knowing why Peter is running off is better or worse now. On one hand, no secrets, which is awesome. On the other hand, no secrets, which means Ned knows that Peter is chasing down actual criminals who could kill him. He doesn't know if that's supposed to be comforting or not. 

_Yeah_, he thinks sourly._ May definitely can't do this every night. _

What is he supposed to do all night? The Decathlon is tomorrow, Peter is hunting bad guys, and there’s not really anything to do at hotel. Normally, he and Peter would be watching TV on a trip like this, but he’s pretty alone with nothing but worry to occupy him. 

A knock comes at the door, drawing him out of thought. 

When he gets up and opens the door, he's surprised to see Betty Brant standing on the other side. "Oh. Betty."

"Hey Ned," they say with a confident smile. "Liz wants to have some team-bonding-swim-time. She said she stopped by and Peter isn’t coming, but I thought I’d see if you were joining us?”

"Um," he says. "I don't know?"

_ “As long as you keep your shirt on,” Sandy says, eyes drifting up and down Ned’s body. “Nobody needs to see that.” _

_ Ned feels something ugly twist in his stomach, frowning. “N-Nobody needs to look.” _

_ “And how is everyone supposed to ignore a beached whale?” _

"I don't think so," he manages to say. "I didn't bring a bathing suit, so I'm just gonna—"

Michelle, bless her, appears out of nowhere. "You're not swimming, Leeds? Excellent. I'm crashing in your room. Better than sitting by the pool and risking my book getting wet." 

"You sure you guys don't want to come hang around?" Betty offers. 

"Sorry," Ned grimaces. "I don't really do pools if I can help it. Have fun though!" 

Betty's smile falters, but they give a small wave. "Okay. You guys have a good night."

When she wanders off, Ned closes the door and sighs. "Thanks, MJ."

"Even though I think it's silly, I understand." She tosses her bag on Peter's bed. "Spider-Man business?"

"Unfortunately."

"Well I'm gonna crash here until he comes back or whatever," Michelle says. As she digs into her bag for a book and a bag of chips, she very obviously does not gaze at Ned. "So...Betty."

"What about them?"

"You know they like you, right?"

Ned stops in his tracks to his bed. "What?"

"Betty," Michelle repeats. "They like you. That's why they're always trying to sit next to you on the bus, practice with you, invite you swimming...you know. Normally I wouldn't try to butt in—"

"Except you normally do with me."

"—but Betty told me they like you, and you're so incredibly oblivious."

Betty is absolutely gorgeous. Thin, but sturdy because of track, quick witted because of their sharp mind, and open hearted to literally everyone around them. They're ambitious and funny and smart…the concept of them even considering Ned romantically is ridiculous.

"Why?" is what he manages to squeeze out. "I don't, I mean...why?"

"You love people for their insides," Michelle rolls her eyes. "But you can't possibly imagine someone else loving you for yours. Or for your outsides. You're just. Ned."

"Regardless," Ned shrugs. "I'm just not interested."

Michelle opens her chips violently. "I know. I love Parker, but I really wish you weren't so hung up on him."

"Honestly? Same."

"Whatever. We gonna snuggle tonight?"

Ned frowns. Michelle is only _particularly snuggly_ when her parents are _particularly terrible._ "Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Cool. Read the book. Educate me on…?"

"A missionary's view on how his church actually hurt the cities they visited in Belize and the efforts he went through to go back and make helpful change."

"Hell yeah, I'm ready."

* * *

Naturally, Peter manages to answer an hour after the Decathlon has ended. Ned has bullshit his way through saying Peter was basically dying in their hotel room, answered a hell of a lot of Decathlon questions, and continually checked his phone to see if Peter was even alive. And now, after the panic and stress of the morning, he answers, “Oh, Ned you’re alive!”

The sheer relief in his voice chills Ned. “Peter, are you okay?”

“Where is the glowy thing, the glowy thing?”

“Don’t worry, it’s safe in my backpack,” Ned rushes out. Peter starts to talk, but Ned doesn’t feel like that’s fair. “You missed the Decathlon, and I covered for you. We’re at the Washington Monument no--

Liz takes the phone from him. Ned sighs in defeat and lets her have it, walking through the metal detector. By the time his bag and phone are through the x-ray, Peter’s hung up and Ned resigns himself to trying to enjoy the monument. He wants to nerd out and pay attention to the details, but Peter’s panicked voice rushes through his mind again. 

Something’s wrong. 

Then again, lately, it feels like something is always wrong. 

The elevator doors close, and Ned focuses. 

The tour lady is bored with her job, obviously, but the information still interests Ned, as well as how quickly the elevator shoots to the top. Ned is actually ready to be completely and utterly attentive when something weird happens. 

Like, extra weird. 

There’s a weird vibration, like the entire building has been struck, and something that feels like a surge of energy. Dust billows into the elevator as everyone screams and reaches for purchase. Ned feels a heat at his back. With a guilty horror, he realizes that his backpack is the reason that this happened. He throws it away as the dust clears, looking around at his friends. 

“Okay guys, I know that was scary,” the lady says. “But our safety systems are working. We’re very safe in here.”

Somehow, Ned does not feel secure this high up in the air. Luckily, being this high up means that they’re close enough to the top of the elevator to pop open the top of it and start easing people through. Ned waits behind, feeling like it might be too difficult for him to get through, and helps the other get up first. 

It’s just.

Mildly terrifying. 

Of course, right when fucking Flash gets through the roof of the elevator, the lid snaps and they’re falling. 

Ned can’t focus on anything as his stomach is left at the top of the monument and he just screams. His mind whirls, panic and he can feel his thoughts trampling through his mind. I’m gonna die without ever telling Peter how I feel, but he was on his way, right? Spider-Man can do anything, Peter can do anything, it’ll be okay, he’ll be here, he can save us he can save me he can do it--

The elevator jerks to a stop, and Ned looks up. 

“Hey, hey, how you doin'?" Spider-Man says, upside down. "Don't worry about it, I gotchu."

_ YES! _

* * *

When Ned makes it back to the hotel room, he barely shuts the door before he’s smacked in the chest with an armful of Peter. 

“Oh my god,” Ned gasps, hugging his best friend back. “Oh my god, Peter, I can’t believe you did it.”

“I can’t believe it either,” Peter whispers. His voice sounds tight and hoarse, like…

“Peter, have you been crying?”

Peter pulls back to show his wet and red eyes. “Obviously! Ned, you-you almost _ died, _ I almost didn’t make it. I asked you to keep that fucking thing safe and it almost killed you. It was _ my fault _.”

“Yours, what? No! Peter, you tried to tell me, I was just angry and didn’t listen--”

“You had every right to be angry--”

“But I endangered everyone,” Ned says. His stomach rolls and he feels sick as another thought strikes him. “Oh my god, you’re in love with Liz and she almost died because of me. Peter, I am _ so _ sorry.”

Shaking his head, Peter takes another step back. “Ned, _ what are you talking about? _ I like Liz, yeah, and I don’t want her to die, but...dude, I was thinking about you the whole time. I don't have a crush on _her_.”

Ned blinks. 

“I was terrified when I thought--” Peter’s voice cuts off and he runs a hand through his hair. “Ned, you’re my best friend in the entire world, my number one preferred human. I love you. If I hadn’t made it, I-I-I can’t even think about it.”

“Oh,” Ned says lightly. Tears sting his eyes as he lowers himself to the bed and his bookbag falls to the ground. “Peter, I need to tell you something.”

And Peter is there in an instant, taking Ned’s hands and kneeling between his legs. His eyes, still rimmed with tears, are focused so intently on Ned that he kind of regrets what he’s about to say. 

“You’re right,” Ned tells him. “I did almost die, and as we were falling, I realized I haven’t told you the truth about something and I just...Peter…”

_ I love you. _

“Hey.” Peter rubs his thumb along the back of Ned’s hand. “It’s okay, you can tell me anything.”

“I know. But this is kind of big? And I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, I just know that I need to tell you because I think about it all the time. And when I tell you this, please know that our friendship is, like, the most important thing in the world to me and I would do anything to keep it. I treasure our relationship, I treasure you and where we are, and I would never want to lose it just because I’m in love with you.”

Peter’s hands still. “Y-You what?”

“Shit,” Ned groans. His head drops and his eyes close. “That was not supposed to go that way. I had a whole thing planned, where I talked about how I know you’ll probably never feel the same because you’re you, and I’m me, and--”

“What exactly does that mean?” Peter snaps, standing abruptly. 

Ned feels dread fill him. Here it is. “I just mean, I know that you’re, well, you. You’re amazing, Peter, and you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world, and it’s not my fault, right? It’s impossible not to love you when I get to be so close to you, get to understand you for who you are, and who you are is frankly incredible. And I’m just me. I know this. It’s okay. Like I said, I just want you in my life and being friends is totally fine.”

“Ned,” Peter raises his heads to rub at his face. “What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know, I’m doing the thing again. I’m working on it.”

“No, Ned, that’s not--” Peter drops his hands so they link together and looks at Ned with something so painfully raw that Ned can’t predict what’s going to happen. “Ned. You thinking you don’t compare to me is ridiculous. You are...absolutely, without a doubt, the most phenomenal human that’s ever walked this godforsaken planet.”

Ned...is surprised, to say the least. “What?”

“Ned, you are loyal, and strong, and the epitome of goodness. You treat me better than I deserve. You stay by my side, no matter what, and you never expect anything in return. Actually, you’re like that with everyone! You are the literal definition of a good person. But you’re also smart, and funny, and cute, and I feel more like myself with you than I do with anyone else in the world. Especially now that you know about Spider-Man. You make me feel like me, Ned. And you make everyone else feel like its okay to be themselves too. You’re just--you’re a fucking rockstar, Ned.”

Ned doesn’t know what to say. He wipes furiously at his eyes, wishing he wasn’t such a mess but the fast week has been insane. It’s been filled with too many emotions, Peter almost always dying, and the stress of Decathlon. As childish as it feels, he wants to just lay back and acknowledge that its been hard. 

But it’s been harder for Peter. So he wipes his eyes and takes a breath. 

“I’m sorry,” he sniffles. “I shouldn’t have said anything, but I just wanted it out in the open. And you...you’re probably so tired, and Mr. Harrington said the trip’s been cut short. We’re going home tonight, so we should just...man, I don’t know.”

Peter comes forward again, setting his hands on Ned’s shoulders. “Please look at me.”

As if Ned can focus on anything else. 

“Why are you so sure I don’t want to hear this?” Peter asks softly. One of his hands moves hesitantly to the side of Ned’s neck. The touch sends goosebumps across his skin. “What would make you think I didn’t want you?”

“Peter, you know why,” Ned whispers shamefully. “You look like you, and I look like me.”

“Ned Leeds,” Peter shakes his head. “You’re so smart. How are you such an idiot?"

And then, to Ned’s shock--and delight--Peter is kissing him. 

At first, Ned doesn’t know how to respond. 

Because this is Peter.

Kissing him. 

Peter is kissing him. 

Peter pulls his head back slowly, eyes opening. He looks mildly panicked. “Ned? Did I read that wrong?”

“What?” Ned breathes. “No, not at all, I just--what?”

“Is this something I shouldn’t do?”

“I’m just trying to process,” Ned says weakly. “But, uh, you can do it again. Who knows? It might help me. Process.”

Peter does that little giggle of his again and settles more comfortably between Ned’s legs. He leans down to press his lips to Ned’s forehead. It’s a light kiss, one that makes Ned’s lungs lose all air. Peter’s lips, soft and hesitant, press against Ned’s temple next, followed by his cheek, his jaw, and finally his lips again. 

Ned lets himself accept the kiss now. His hands settle on Peter’s waist, leaning into the kiss. It’s good in ways he never expected; soft lips, a clean, mint taste, and a strange tingling sensation all the way down to his toes. Yes, he’s attracted to Peter and has thought of plenty of things he wants, but its more than that. It’s contentment, its relief. They sink into each other, and for a moment, its okay. 

“How long?” Ned whispers. “I never thought--”

“Since Ben,” Peter tells him, brushing a hand through Ned’s hair. “You were the only one I wanted after that, the only way...you know, like I said before, the only way I felt like myself. It kind of grew over the summer and it hasn’t gone away. And then today? I was so scared, Ned, I couldn’t believe you almost died. Karen told me to kiss you when I was Spider-Man--

“Karen? Who is Karen?”

“My AI. I’ll explain later.” Peter pecks Ned’s lips again, the simple action shooting a spark through Ned’s bloodstream. “What about you? How long?”

Ned suddenly finds eye contact too difficult. “Always, I guess. I don’t know if there’s been a time where I haven’t loved you.”

“Ned,” Peter whispers weakly. “_Shit,_ dude.”

He leans in for another kiss. Right before their lips touch, however, a sharp knock raps at their door. “Yo, losers! We’re leaving now.”

In movies, that's when the spell breaks and people pull away. Peter, however, ignores Michelle’s call to lean in and give Ned another kiss. It’s a little messy, quick, and Peter is giggling throughout, but it feels good to be able to smile against Peter’s lips. It really feels like there’s nothing between them now. 

“Come on,” Peter says. “I am completely exhausted and planning to nap for about sixteen years.”

“You can’t be Spider-Man if you’re asleep.”

Peter gives him a look that says Try me and links his fingers through Ned’s. “I am going to use your for a pillow.”

“Ahh, that’s why you love me.”

“That’s it, nothing to do with that long-ass speech about how great you are.”

“Always knew it was about my snuggling abilities.”

They throw their bags over their shoulders and leave the hotel room. Ned feels like he’s floating. Peter Parker loves him, and _ that’s actually insane! _ He knows it won’t be easy, continuing on and figuring out what they are while simultaneously solving a crime--but Ned knows, as easily as he knows the quadratic formula--that whatever is coming is going to be _so incredibly worth it._

When it comes to Peter, it always is.


End file.
